Panthers/Steelers Second Impressions

Hug it out:  The Panthers celebrate
an epic 10-0 preseason victory. 

 I didn't see much of the 2nd half, because frankly, I didn't give a shit at that point.  But here are some things I did notice:



-- Remember how bad Jon Beason looked when we tried to make him an outside linebacker?  The same seems to apply to A.J. Klein when we try him at middle linebacker.  It's interesting how you move a guy over a couple yards and he looks like a completely different player.  Klein plays the edges well and did a very nice job on the 4th down stop, but is pretty awful at coming downhill from the mike position to make tackles. I hope Kuechly stays healthy. 


-- Mario Addison frustrates me a bit.  He's got pass rushing ability, but is too shitty as a run defender to trust in an expended role.  The Wheaton end-around on Pittsburgh's first series was a result of Addison completely ignoring his contain responsibility.  Do your fucking job on early downs.   Even when he's in position, he's probably our worst tackling DL. 


-- I put the bad snap on Anderson.  It wasn't a perfect job by Valesco, but an NFL quarterback should be able to corral that.  And I continue to wonder why D.A. is locked into the #2.  Webb has been better overall, which I guess isn't saying much. 


-- Chandler is getting his ass KICKED at RT, and Bell still doesn't appear to know what the hell to do against any type of blitz or defensive line game.  On one play, Jarvis Jones and Brett Keisel ran right around Byron untouched.  Well done.  Struggling with that in the preseason is not good news, obviously, and he's just as useless in the running game.  I need to come up with a nickname for our OT tandem - maybe Dog Shit & Cat Piss.  I know that's not particularly creative, but it's the first thing that comes to mind and it fits. 

-- And hey, Don Shula's kid, STOP RUNNING INTO A FUCKING BRICK WALL ON SHORT YARDAGE.  We should be spreading the field out in these situations.  It doesn't matter how many wives Mike Tolbert can fuck, he's not going to pick up a yard when the entire defense is already in the backfield before he gets the football.  Spread the field out, take a few defensive players out of the box and give your terrible offensive line a fighting chance.

--  I'm relieved that McDermott is at least using Harper properly, essentially making him an extra linebacker.  I do think he still has something to offer in that niche.


-- What's up with 3rd and long defense?  Oh yeah, I forgot.  Our secondary is horrible.  But let's keep drafting defensive linemen. 



-- Philly Brown.  What can you say about Philly Brown?  I guess all you can do is post a youtube.

--  I'm beginning to wonder if Fozzy isn't at least as good as Stewart at this point.  I don't notice much of a difference.  J-Stew's contract keeps him ahead on the depth chart, but hopefully we have the sense to spread out the carries a little more. 


-- Bersin still feels more like a TE than a WR.   Maybe it's because he's white.  Nonethless, I still haven't seem him drop anything.  Even against back-ups in the preseason, that's pretty good.  I'd really prefer him starting over Cotchery, who for a veteran seems rather oblivious as to where the 1st down marker is. 

-- Yeah, we get it, it's the 20th year of Panthers football.  Thank you.  I haven't seen all of those old plays hundreds of times already. 


-- Regardless of where you play him, Godfrey is still a terrible defensive back.  His listed position should just be 'ES', and in Eating Shit. 



Well that's all I have for you right now.  I don't know about you guys, but I feel a whole lot better after that victory.  This could be our year. 

Preseason finale: Ten things to pretend to be interested in

As another Panthers preseason mercifully concludes Thursday night in Pittsburgh, here are the top ten things that I think Panther fans should keep a bloodshot eye on:


-- How terrible can Roman Harper look?

While every safety has looked terrible so far, it will be interesting to see how god awful the two-time Pro Bowler will fare after battling a terrible case of gout.  It's unknown how long Harper will play, but presumably the coaching staff would want to give him plenty of reps after an extended absence.  While it's hard to imagine him being any shittier than Anderson Russell or Robert Lester, gout is quite an ordeal. 


-- Godfrey back at safety.

Who knew that a barely starting caliber safety, who was coming off of an injury, would struggle at cornerback?  It seemed like a terrific idea.  At least Rivera had the decency to spare us from watching that train wreck for an entire season.  Not that things will go much better at safety, but we all knew Godfrey at cornerback was a bad idea and it happened anyway.  That has to make you feel great about the direction of the team. 


-- Punt returner - what the fucking shit?

It appears to be Philly Brown's job to lose, but if he bombs in his final audition, I'd expect the Panthers to sign a professional returner before the start of the regular season.  Whatever.  Just find somebody who isn't going to completely fuck things up. 


-- Final running back

It's down to Fozzy Whittaker or UDFA Darrin Reaves.  Extremely unlikely that both would make the 53 man roster.  This is one of the few roster battles on the team that won't be won by default, as both players have looked pretty good when given the opportunity.  I'd be happy with either guy, but Fozzy's apparent versatility probably gives him the edge.    And his name is Fozzy, for fuck sake. 

It is funny how Whittaker has looked more like Sproles than Barner ever did.  Is that why we gave him #43?  Good save, Gettleman. 


-- Will Derek Anderson play?

I guess we'll find out how seriously he really takes this shit.  Either way, he's the #2.  I don't believe Webb will be on the roster when Cam is healthy.  It would make some since if we were cross-training him at WR, but that doesn't appear to be the case.  So, if he does start, this is him auditioning for another team.  How exciting for us.


--  Mike Tomlin's swagger

I love that motherfucker.   Steeler fans, the next time you complain about anything, look over at Thousand Yard Stare Ron and appreciate how good you have it. 


-- Greg Olsen's backup

Will it be Dickson or Williams?  To my chagrin, Dickson appears to be leading the competition despite superior performances by Williams.   It's not a big deal, but it's always annoying when a coaching staff favors seniority.  Mike McNeill and D.C. Jefferson are unlikely to make the team, unless teacher's pet Richie Brockel suffers a long-term injury. 


-- Can Bersin continue his ascent?

I can't fucking believe I'm actually asking that, but frankly the guy has been our second best WR of the summer.   Cotchery and Avant are useless.  I'd rather watch Cam throw passes to John Bobbitt's ballsack.  Bersin at least appears capable of making a catch when he's covered, albeit against back-ups to this point.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that Benjamin and Olsen need to stay healthy.


-- Backup OL jobs up for grabs

How bad do you have to be to not make our roster as an offensive lineman?  The starters appear to be set, not that they were ever challenged, but the back-up spots remain a mystery.  Fuck it, who cares?  A trademark of a shitty roster is when you're just saying "fuck it" when it comes to the final cut. 


-- Do the Steelers have cheerleaders yet?

The answer is no.  Does that city have some kind of embargo against attractive women.  I'm tired of having to close my eyes every time the broadcast scans the crowd.  Just keep the cameras on the field so I can pay better attention to Mike Rucker's expert analysis.